Question about wills

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mbday630
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Question about wills

Postby mbday630 » Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:35 pm

my hubby has a friend that died a couple of months ago and now his son committed suicide. According to the "news" he committed suicide because he couldn't get his dad's inheritance as the girlfriend/SO was given that in a will. I think that when we die our desires of where our money goes is totally up to us, but, I wonder if we think about the hardship that it causes our kids? I have another remote friend that was given the inheritance when her husband died and her dead husband's son kept asking her for money and felt cheated. She might live forever and that might not be fair that he doesn't get his dad's inheritance? or what? How would you work this out?
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Diat60
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Re: Question about wills

Postby Diat60 » Wed Mar 02, 2016 4:42 pm

This may sound hard, but I think that the money/assets we've worked hard for all our lives should go where WE want them to, not necessarily to our closest kin. The way I look at it is, they had the same chance we did to work at jobs we didn't like but stayed at because of a sense of responsibility, not to flit from job to job, to save money rather than spend it on holidays and clothes, and definitely not to think that they had to do any of this because "one day they'd have the parents' money". On the other hand, if one of your kin has tried hard but is struggling to survive through no fault of their own, then help all you can now and make sure they're provided for in future.

Four kids, 8 grandchildren and not one has ever asked for money, except as a loan. On the other hand we've helped out many times and been glad to do so.

Does this make me sound like the wicked witch of the west?
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JKEerie
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Re: Question about wills

Postby JKEerie » Wed Mar 02, 2016 5:07 pm

No it doesn't Diat. You simply want folks to accept personal responsibility for their situations. If someone goes through life as a spendthrift and then has nothing in their later years, I have little sympathy.

MBday basically points out why it is prudent to have a will or at least name those you'd like to be beneficiaries on life insurance and investment vehicles. If a will hasn't been written then proceeds from an estate are distributed "by law" which is contingent on the state you live in. In most instances it is spouse first, then children, followed by other relatives. The rules for each state represent what the legislature feels most people would want.
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mbday630
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Re: Question about wills

Postby mbday630 » Wed Mar 02, 2016 6:17 pm

I can definitely see that. however, I have many people in my family with blended families. If the one person marries another person that already has other children, and if the one dies early, it could mean that the surviving child never sees any of the benefits from the will.

this is confusing, I know. I have seen this so many times that a guy dies and leave his money to the surviving spouse. however, the kids from his first union are struggling. Or know that when the "other woman" dies that they won't be a part of the will as she will leave everything to her children. I don't know what is right, and I am in a blended family situation and want to do the right thing. My hubby has/had a friend whose son just committed suicide because he couldn't pay his bills as his dad's SO didn't give him any money from the will. I don't know. it is a hard situation and my emotions are torn on this.
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draclvr
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Re: Question about wills

Postby draclvr » Wed Mar 02, 2016 8:57 pm

Dave and I have taken care of this in the form of a trust. We have his kids and my kids and I even have my step-kids from my 2nd husband who passed away in 1996. He and I, his son and his wife and his daughter own a 120 acre family farm near here. However, my kids should not get anything from this, so we have it set up that everything from that property goes to his kids. My family owns 240 acres of prime farm ground in NW Iowa which my brother still farms. My brother, sister and I will each inherit 80 acres when mom passes away. This inheritance should not go to Dave's kids when I die, so we set it up so it goes to my kids. Our assets that we have acquired together - our acreage and farmhouse etc. - is common to both our kids, so that will be split up equally 4 ways when we die. I have close to $100,000 that is in my name, but I manage for my late husband. The entire initial investment was his, so I have it set up so that money will be split equally between his three daughters when I die.

The key is to plan ahead. I certainly don't know the circumstances, but I have to wonder why someone would leave out a child without good reason. Was the suicide really the result of not getting any money or were there underlying circumstances? This are not always what they appear to be on the surface. And sometimes people are just thoughtless... who knows.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

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